No one imagines, as they are standing at the altar, making declarations of undying love to their soon to be husband/wife, that it will one day end in divorce. Unfortunately, life circumstances can make it so that the person you were ideally suited for on your wedding day is not so suitable after ten years of marriage and you have to make the decision to part ways in order to avoid causing any more damage to one another. Divorce is painful for all parties involved, especially as it involves breaking up a unit that may involve more than two people if the marriage has produced children.
What follows after the divorce proceedings and the splitting up of property is a custody battle to determine which one of you gets to keep the kids and which one gets to visit on the weekends. During this time, children who are already hurting from the breakup may experience conflicted emotions, especially about which parent they would like to live with and whether they have any choice in the matter. Feelings of anger, helplessness and depression are common during this period and it is important to guide your kids through this process so that they come out stronger in the end. Below are a few valuable tips you can use to help your children through a custody battle:
Assure them of your love regardless of the outcome:
let your kids that no matter how the custody battle works out, they always have first place in your heart and you will love them no matter what. Whether you end up having custody or are relegated to limited visits, assure your children that your love for them will not change.
Encourage your child to let you know how they are feeling:
Encourage your child to express their feelings regardless of how strong or overwhelming they might seem. This will help to ease their frustration and let them know that your relationship will not be destroyed even if they harbour negative feelings towards you. Communication can also go a long way in resolving any bad feelings they have especially if you let them know that it is ok to be angry.
Do not fight in front of your children:
Chances are, that after a divorce hearing, your children are already experiencing raw emotions such as fear and anger. Avoid making the situation even worse by fighting in front of them and instead choose to have your disagreements away from them.
Involve other caring adults:
Let your children have access to other people who love them such as aunts, grandparents and even family friends who will assure them that they are cared for regardless of what is happening in their lives.
Whether you are in Melbourne, Timbuktu or any other part of the world, custody battles can be long, drawn out and draining on all parties involved. However, by incorporating a few simple strategies for dealing with the problem areas that arise, you can make the process easier and less painful for you and your spouse and ensure that your children come through with as little emotional scarring as possible. Phone today at 03 9898 3100 to arrange your free consultation and advice on child custody during divorce.