Divorce is hard on a person. Imagine then, when you add children to the equation. Your children will inevitably feel the effects of the divorce, so you must think about them and how to minimise the impact.
That is why we have provided a few management techniques for you.
We hope this gives you the ability to help your children overcome this trying and sometimes traumatic period. Please take note you will have to use your discretion on how to present this information to your children based on their ages and maturity levels.
Remind Them It’s Not Their Fault
Study after study shows that children who have divorced parents have at one time or another felt that the divorce was their fault. Remind your children that this divorce is not their fault in any way and there is nothing they could do or not have done to prevent it. This is an adult decision and they had nothing to do with the choice.
Keep Communication Open
An open line of communication is vital when trying to make the transition after the divorce. Your children need to know that the door is always open for questions, comments, concerns, and just plain talking.
Keep Bad Mouthing Your Partner To A Minimum
Avoid bad mouthing the other parent while the children are around. This can be a challenge especially if you ended the relationship on bad terms. You must not damage the relationship with the other parent because of resentful feelings you have. They might agitate you, but they could be a fantastic parent to your children, so don’t seek to destroy what could be a stable healthy relationship.
Do Not Overwhelm Them With Added Pressure
Divorce is hard to take, but depending on the age of your children and the relationship you have, you shouldn’t unload your thoughts and feelings on them. While this can be a good thing for you, it is best left to do it with a therapist or close friends and not your children. Try to keep your personal feelings and thoughts to yourself instead of putting the burden on your children.
Remember children do not have the ability to process thoughts and feelings as well as adults, so divorce is even harder on them. Be patient and try to answer questions they have with an open and calm discussion.
For any help with child custody, divorce or family law proceedings, contact Mirabellas Solicitors on 03 9898 3100.